"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."
April 22, 2006 is a day that will forever be engraved in my
heart. That was the day that I rescued Gabby from a life of loneliness and
brought her home to be with me. I wanted to get a dog because I needed a good
distraction to get over a broken heart and when I had mentioned it to my
stepmother, she said her vet was trying to rehome a young male Maltese dog. The
only Maltese I’d ever been exposed to were her dogs, and one of those wasn’t
the nicest to most people. I wasn’t sure I wanted a Maltese or a male (funny
how that works now, Simon), but I went ahead and called the lady that was
looking for a new home for him. However, when I called about him, she mentioned
to me that she also had a 5 ½ year old female Yorkie that needed a home as well
and that was a dog I had always wanted. There was a bit of back and forth in
the beginning as to whether or not I’d even get her because another family had
just decided they’d like to take her. I was heartbroken, but when the lady
said, “don’t give up hope yet, the new family may not even work out,” I just
kept telling myself that if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. Sure enough, a
couple of days later, Gabby and that other family didn’t work out so I made
arrangements to come meet her that following weekend. I had no idea what to
expect and now I can’t even remember if I’d seen any pictures of Gabby prior to
meeting her, I don’t think I did. I did have some hesitation about how all of this
would go. I personally had never cared for a dog and wasn’t sure how I was
going to do this. All of that faded away when I got to the house and sat down
and the lady handed Gabby to me. She looked up at me, her hair cutely arranged
in a red and white bow, with loving eyes that basically said, “get me the hell
out of here please.” And so I did. I drove straight over to my parents’ house
and introduced them to the newest member of the family. It was there that we
realized just how neglected Gabby had been, her teeth so bad that she had to
get quite a few of them pulled when she went in to get spayed that week. Gabby
had also never been properly housetrained. Remember, she lived her life mostly
in a crate and was used for breeding what I’m guessing were AKC yorkie pups. I
never received papers on her though. I kept thinking how people could just not
want this dog and I was going to do whatever I could to give her the best life
I could.
As time went on, Gabby became my #1, my sidekick, and the
one thing that would be there for me during all of my moves, all of the tears,
all of the laughter, all of the outings, and all of the late night snuggles.
She was my Houdini dog, able to clear a 3 foot gate or a fence like it was
nothing and never feared anything or anyone. She had the absolute heart of an
angel and everyone that has ever met her, has fallen in love with her, yorkie
bad breath and all. When she was about to turn 12, I brought a new addition
into our family, Simon. I’m pretty sure she’s never forgiven me for that. I’m
not sure how they feel about each other now as there have been some pretty
nasty fights over the years, including one just this past weekend, but I am
glad that she had company during these last few years to watch over her.
When Gabby was diagnosed with renal failure this past March,
I knew that would be the end of a special journey that began so many years ago.
Suddenly, she was a different dog that was not able to jump on the bed anymore
(her only refuge from Simon since he can’t jump that high), she didn’t feel
like doing much anymore, but hung in there for some long walks. Gabby was never
much of a snuggler or a lap dog unless we weren’t home. I think it was her way
to make sure I didn’t leave her somewhere, haha. During these last weeks, she’s
slept closer to me at night than she ever had. She still greeted me at the
door, but it was after I’d been home a while and she finally realized I was
there. I can’t tell you how many times I came home, waiting to see if she was
breathing or if she’d passed on while I was away. It is so very hard to see
such a sweet soul deteriorate like that. I felt helpless and lost and have
cried more in the past few months than I have in such a long time.
 |
| My sweet Gabby and I enjoying the waves in Galveston on one of our last outings together. |
Today I made the toughest decision I’ve had to ever make in
my life and decided it was time to let my best friend go. They say when a dog
is ready to cross the rainbow bridge, they will let you know. I probably
ignored many signs, refusing to let her go, even though deep down I knew it had
to be this way. It was getting to the point where I didn’t feel I could take
very good care of my sweet girl anymore. So many nights we were getting up for
bathroom trips outside or for her to get water. So many days I was coming home
to more accidents in the house. So many days when she had no energy to do anything
and I had to carry her downstairs. There were still plenty of good days though
which made it even harder to say goodbye. I kept asking her what she needed,
what she wanted, as if by some miracle this time she’d finally answer me, but
her look in her eyes said it all. I fought this decision tooth and nail,
begging and pleading to God to please let her pass peacefully in her sleep, but
in the end, it was me who would have to make that choice. Gabby spent 15 years
in this world, and I’m pretty sure 10 of those were the best years she could
ever have hoped for. Now, she’s no longer in pain or feeling sick. She’s probably
jumping up for treats and stealing chocolate out of the candy jar. And wherever
she is, I know she’s watching out for me and Simon and keeping our hearts alive
with the love she gave us. RIP my sweet monkey dog, Gabby. I am so grateful I
got to be your mom and for the love you not only gave me, but in the many ways
you taught me how to love.
