There's a Cure for that you know?

Tonight culminated a serious relationship that began when I was 15 years old. I had always been a fan of The Cure, I've written about them a few times on this blog, but there was a certain night when I was 15 that changed everything. It sounds silly, but it was something as simple as having a dream. Yes, I had a dream that I would meet Robert Smith and the rest of the band. The dream was actually them coming to my house and performing one of my favorite B-sides, "A Few Hours After This." It was so surreal and real at the same time that when I woke up the next morning an obsession was born. I don't think I've told that story to anyone in all of these years. I just usually say they've always been my favorite band. I mean, that would sound pretty ridiculous, right? I've always loved them and their sound, but in those early teen years I really started grasping their sound after that dream. I always felt like the girl who didn't fit in or belong in school so I turned to music. I still remember being in the back of the bus after Friday night football games with my Walkman listening to 'Disintegration', an album that still is pretty influential in my life. Then when I turned 15, I got way more into music than I ever had been in my life. I grew up with music and always loved music, but it was like a switch got turned on that year. I have written about it before so I'll save the details. So, when I had that dream, and became "obsessed" with this band from England, my whole life changed. I had to have every album they created, but more to that, I had to see them live. At that time, it was pretty unknown whether or not they'd create another album or tour again, so I had no choice but to search for what was available at that time.

'Show' was my first live VHS from the 1992 Wish tour and it was my first "live" Cure experience. After that, I found 'The Cure: Live in Orange' (filmed and directed by Tim Pope who will become important later), then I got my hands on 'The Cure Play Out', 'Picture Show' and 'Staring at the Sea' videos. During that time, I grew to love the art of making music videos, whether it was live or on a set and Tim Pope became my first music video director muse. That was then followed by fellow geniuses Anton Corbijn and Stephane Sednaoui, just to name a few. I was deadset on moving to London to go to art school to learn how to make music videos. That was my dream.

Photo by the amazingly talented, Debi Del Grande

When the Hyde Park 40th Anniversary show was announced last year, I was gutted that I couldn't make it work for me to attend. I knew I'd be going to London for work, but the timing didn't work. So tonight, I got my redemption. I got to see the show that I couldn't attend. I got to sing and dance almost as much as I would have had I been at that Hyde Park show. And once again Tim Pope did an amazing job at capturing the spirit of a band that he's followed for so many years. After 40 years, this band seems to be hitting another "peak" in their career. After getting inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame by Nine Inch Nails frontman, Trent Reznor, they have gone on to play multiple shows including an appearance at a castle in Dublin, followed by numerous festival dates to keep them busy throughout the summer months. I am happy to say that I will be seeing them at Austin City Limits Festival in October and as much as I hate festivals, I truly can't wait to see my favorite band live again.

Tonight, the 15 year old me came out to enjoy the show. Tonight I was reminded why I love this band so much. Tonight I met others who also love and appreciate this band as much as I do. I can't explain my obsession with The Cure. All I can say is that to this day, at this point in their career, they are still one of absolute best live bands I have ever seen and Robert Smith's lyrics move my heart to another level and I just hope everyone can experience that in their lifetime. I can't wait for October when I get experience these lovely souls live again. Until then, enjoy their magical full 'Disintegration' set from Sydney below.

Because Music is Home

"I only wanted to see you, Laughing in the purple rain"

As usual, my thoughts for a blog post have completely escaped my mind the second I sit down to write. So I'm sharing this instead. I heard it on the way home tonight and it's always been one of my favorite Depeche Mode songs. I think it's appropriate for today's news of the passing of one of my favorite artists of all time. Prince was one of those larger than life artists. He came into my life at a young age, around the same time as Duran Duran, and I quickly held onto his sound and never let go. When I was a kid, he was like one of those forbidden fruits because he was someone my dad didn't really want me listening to, but I did anyway because of my sisters. The movie and album 'Purple Rain' have been a part of my life for so long they're like an old friend. I remember listening to the cassette of that album, and wearing it out, when I bought my first car in 1999. I would cruise down the street with "The Beautiful Ones" and "Baby I'm a Star" blaring and the windows rolled down.

Every time a celebrity dies, fans mourn and the question always gets asked as to "why" do we mourn these people. In most cases, we've never met them. We certainly don't usually know them on a personal level as we do many other people in our lives. I found this article earlier today shortly after the announcement of Prince's death. While this article makes a lot of sense, I think the explanation is pretty simple. People turn to music as an escape from their every day life. Whether it's to get over a broken heart, celebrate a victory or just to relax from a tough day, music has been there. In a time when so much ugliness plagues our news and airwaves, music is a sense of therapy for many. I know it certainly has been for me over the years. Music has always been home to me. It's always been my comfort. My escape. I turned to it when my parents divorced when I was a teenager. I submerse myself in it to this day when I have something going on in my life, good or bad. It gets me through the day. And it has brought me family. So when an artist that I admire passes, it hurts. And it sucks. And today it sucked a lot. I started the week out excited to be seeing the first band I ever loved live again this weekend and then to this morning, I was celebrating the birthday of a man whose music has touched my life and my heart for so many years and getting excited about that show next month to then feeling the heartache after hearing of Prince's passing. When the news last Friday of his emergency landing because he was ill broke, my friend I was having dinner with thought something far worse had happened and I was like, no, he's fine, it's Prince. Nothing can happen to him. And now he's gone. So hearing these lyrics again, felt like, well, home. I still can't believe this year has already seen so many talented people go. But I do know that in the end, the music will always live on. RIP Prince Rogers Nelson and all of the others that have left us too soon. And thank you to music for showing me home.

"Finally I've found that I belong here"

My Monkey's Gone to Heaven

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." 

April 22, 2006 is a day that will forever be engraved in my heart. That was the day that I rescued Gabby from a life of loneliness and brought her home to be with me. I wanted to get a dog because I needed a good distraction to get over a broken heart and when I had mentioned it to my stepmother, she said her vet was trying to rehome a young male Maltese dog. The only Maltese I’d ever been exposed to were her dogs, and one of those wasn’t the nicest to most people. I wasn’t sure I wanted a Maltese or a male (funny how that works now, Simon), but I went ahead and called the lady that was looking for a new home for him. However, when I called about him, she mentioned to me that she also had a 5 ½ year old female Yorkie that needed a home as well and that was a dog I had always wanted. There was a bit of back and forth in the beginning as to whether or not I’d even get her because another family had just decided they’d like to take her. I was heartbroken, but when the lady said, “don’t give up hope yet, the new family may not even work out,” I just kept telling myself that if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. Sure enough, a couple of days later, Gabby and that other family didn’t work out so I made arrangements to come meet her that following weekend. I had no idea what to expect and now I can’t even remember if I’d seen any pictures of Gabby prior to meeting her, I don’t think I did. I did have some hesitation about how all of this would go. I personally had never cared for a dog and wasn’t sure how I was going to do this. All of that faded away when I got to the house and sat down and the lady handed Gabby to me. She looked up at me, her hair cutely arranged in a red and white bow, with loving eyes that basically said, “get me the hell out of here please.” And so I did. I drove straight over to my parents’ house and introduced them to the newest member of the family. It was there that we realized just how neglected Gabby had been, her teeth so bad that she had to get quite a few of them pulled when she went in to get spayed that week. Gabby had also never been properly housetrained. Remember, she lived her life mostly in a crate and was used for breeding what I’m guessing were AKC yorkie pups. I never received papers on her though. I kept thinking how people could just not want this dog and I was going to do whatever I could to give her the best life I could.

As time went on, Gabby became my #1, my sidekick, and the one thing that would be there for me during all of my moves, all of the tears, all of the laughter, all of the outings, and all of the late night snuggles. She was my Houdini dog, able to clear a 3 foot gate or a fence like it was nothing and never feared anything or anyone. She had the absolute heart of an angel and everyone that has ever met her, has fallen in love with her, yorkie bad breath and all. When she was about to turn 12, I brought a new addition into our family, Simon. I’m pretty sure she’s never forgiven me for that. I’m not sure how they feel about each other now as there have been some pretty nasty fights over the years, including one just this past weekend, but I am glad that she had company during these last few years to watch over her.

When Gabby was diagnosed with renal failure this past March, I knew that would be the end of a special journey that began so many years ago. Suddenly, she was a different dog that was not able to jump on the bed anymore (her only refuge from Simon since he can’t jump that high), she didn’t feel like doing much anymore, but hung in there for some long walks. Gabby was never much of a snuggler or a lap dog unless we weren’t home. I think it was her way to make sure I didn’t leave her somewhere, haha. During these last weeks, she’s slept closer to me at night than she ever had. She still greeted me at the door, but it was after I’d been home a while and she finally realized I was there. I can’t tell you how many times I came home, waiting to see if she was breathing or if she’d passed on while I was away. It is so very hard to see such a sweet soul deteriorate like that. I felt helpless and lost and have cried more in the past few months than I have in such a long time.

My sweet Gabby and I enjoying the waves in Galveston on one of our last outings together. 

Today I made the toughest decision I’ve had to ever make in my life and decided it was time to let my best friend go. They say when a dog is ready to cross the rainbow bridge, they will let you know. I probably ignored many signs, refusing to let her go, even though deep down I knew it had to be this way. It was getting to the point where I didn’t feel I could take very good care of my sweet girl anymore. So many nights we were getting up for bathroom trips outside or for her to get water. So many days I was coming home to more accidents in the house. So many days when she had no energy to do anything and I had to carry her downstairs. There were still plenty of good days though which made it even harder to say goodbye. I kept asking her what she needed, what she wanted, as if by some miracle this time she’d finally answer me, but her look in her eyes said it all. I fought this decision tooth and nail, begging and pleading to God to please let her pass peacefully in her sleep, but in the end, it was me who would have to make that choice. Gabby spent 15 years in this world, and I’m pretty sure 10 of those were the best years she could ever have hoped for. Now, she’s no longer in pain or feeling sick. She’s probably jumping up for treats and stealing chocolate out of the candy jar. And wherever she is, I know she’s watching out for me and Simon and keeping our hearts alive with the love she gave us. RIP my sweet monkey dog, Gabby. I am so grateful I got to be your mom and for the love you not only gave me, but in the many ways you taught me how to love. 

Ch-Ch-Changes

I haven't written in a while and that is mostly due to quite a bit of changes and other things going on in my life. One of the first changes is this blog. When I started this blog about 5 years ago, I did it as an outlet to write about music since at that time, that was my dream job and I wasn't having any luck finding a job due to my lack of inexperience or published work. Thankfully, blogging gives us a way to do what we'd like in that sense and I did get to write for a larger platform for a short time which gave me more exposure. Over the years, however, my enthusiasm, or I suppose a better way to put it, is that my ability to take the time to sit down and write more often has waned a little. I still go to shows or hear new bands and think of words that would be a great blog post, but then life gets in the way and those words are gone. So, things have just kind of sat stagnant here for a while. In following other blogs, I have decided that I wanted to shift the sole purpose of this blog from being about music, which I will still cover occasionally, to also including other interests and aspects of my life. I am planning on redoing the layout and changing the name at some point, but for now will continue being known as The Loudest Sound. 

Another change in my life is that I recently received my certification as a Personal Trainer. In my other blog, Rebel Fit Girl, I had hoped to chronicle my life as a Beachbody coach while sharing information about our programs, fitness tips, nutrition, etc., but just like this blog, life got in the way. However, my love of health and wellness never went away and earlier this year, I decided that I wanted to see if I could get certified, mostly for myself to know I could accomplish something that I had convinced myself so many times before that I would never be able to do, but also because I do have a desire to help others with their journey to health and wellness. I studied for about 3 months and then spent a weekend in a workshop where I met some other amazing women and learned their inspiring stories. Test day came and I was so nervous, but last week I received the fantastic news that I passed! Accomplishing that goal has definitely reignited my passion and I am working hard to get in the best shape of my life since I had been slacking so much these past few months. And then I plan to start training clients early next year, so stay tuned!

And finally, probably the biggest change that has recently surfaced is that I will be starting a new job next month! I will be taking a position within the finance department of a global travel management company and leaving the offshore world behind. There have been a lot of changes within the industry  I am leaving and I would be lying if I said I wasn't starting to feel a little nervous about where I would end up. This new and exciting opportunity presented itself and I truly believe I will continue to grow in so many ways. Plus, it's always been a dream of mine to travel and maybe live abroad and with our global presence, who knows! Maybe that will all come to fruition someday soon! 

So, with all of that out there and so many exciting possibilities ahead, I can't wait to get started on the next chapter of my life and hope that you will come along for the ride!  

My Music Monday: Duran Duran

August 10th marks Duran Duran Appreciation Day, a day created several years ago by a Michigan disc jockey because it coincided with his birthday. It is a day that Duranies all over the world have grown to celebrate the 35 years of music this beloved British band has given us. Since today is Duran Duran Appreciation Day and in anticipation of their newest studio album, Paper Gods, releasing next month, I felt it only appropriate to make today's My Music Monday about one of my all time favorite bands.

I have spoken about my love affair with DD a few times on this blog. It all started back in 1984 when I was about 4 or 5 years old and my older sister had the Cinemax/MTV film "As the Lights Go Down" on VHS and we would watch it non-stop. That was when I first laid eyes on the boyishly handsome bass player, John Taylor. I was immediately in love and that crush continues today. There have been many other music loves in my life since then, but DD will always be my first music affair and it still holds strong to this day. Below are a few videos of some of my favorite songs by the band. It really was hard to not just give you their entire catalog, haha. Happy DD Appreciation Day to all my fellow Duranies! Enjoy!

First on the list, is my all time favorite DD song. I actually found the version from that film that started it all. The first time I saw DD was in 2004 with all of the original members back together. I had the flu, but I was not missing this night. I wasn't sure if I'd get to hear my favorite song, but then Simon pulled out that flute and it ended up being one of the best versions I'd ever heard. They have been playing it during their recent shows so I am really hoping when it comes time to tour for Paper Gods, they will leave it in the set list. The original video for this song was definitely a little risque, similar to the "Girls on Film" video. To this day, this song gives me goosebumps. Pure perfection.

Next up is "The Seventh Stranger" from probably my favorite DD album, Seven and the Ragged Tiger. This song just buries itself into my soul to this day.  When I read John Taylor's autobiography, I loved how he described Simon's ability to just write a song in no time. I chose "New Religion" from my second favorite album, Rio, because it combines all of the elements that make DD so good at what they do. That bass line, those lyrics, Nick's synths and keyboards. It all comes together to create such magic. If you've never seen the VH1 special about this album, I suggest watching it. This album was cutting edge for its time. Nick is pure genius with what he did with the sounds and how they recorded this album. My favorite part of this track, aside from those bass lines, is Simon's vocals layering over each other.  In 2011, Duran Duran released one of their best albums in a long time entitled All You Need is Now. It was the first time the band teamed up with producer Mark Ronson and he took that band to an all new level but reconnected them with their old sound at the same time. I was fortunate to catch DD early on this tour and saw them at a small venue here in Houston. After that, Simon experienced many issues regarding his voice and we weren't sure if they'd finish the tour let alone if he'd ever recover. Fortunately, he and his voice made a full recovery. My absolute favorite track from that album is "The Man who Stole a Leopard". Everything about it is classic DD. Pure beauty. I found this live version as well, but I couldn't embed it.